DEAR SHRI SANTA CLAUS.......

By Ruma Dubey

Dear Shri Santa Claus,

This is the busiest time of the year for you and you must off on your travels.

I know we are a “little” grown up to ask you for gifts but when times are bad, people latch on to even a blade of grass for support. And we seek some solace from you.

Children all around the world send you a wish list and we thought we will also ask for some ‘gifts’ which can make our life in India much better. We know, what we are asking for is maybe beyond you, but just wanted to let you know what we needed.

Also, can we please address you as Santaji?

So here goes:

1: Santaji, you might be aware about our PMs demonetization drive (kindly bring new notes and change in case you need to shop in India). Getting money is still a problem, so can you please get us some more currency printing machines so that more notes get printed and this shortage gets over.

2: While on the PM, please give him more strength and will to push through all the reforms. You see, he has promised so much but right now, nothing much seems to be happening. Crashing hope is worse than bullet wounds.

3: Oil prices are on the rebound and slowly but surely fuel prices are climbing up. Can you please put a freeze on the current price, at least for us mere mortals because when prices were low, many of us had bought vehicles and if price rise continues the same way, most might not be able to afford their cars.

4: It would be impossible, Santaji, even for you to make India corruption free. But maybe you can sprinkle a sense of shame all around India; maybe this rare character, almost extinct in India, can help change some behavior?

4: Santaji, you might not be aware of the economic woes. But in case you are aware, can you keep the inflation rates as low as they are currently, so that demand does take off when new notes come in and growth kicks off all over again. Please use your magic wand and get the multitude of unemployed youth some form of employment and dignity.

5: Now this is something which, maybe, you can really do. Santaji, on your swoop down into North India, just take a small deviation and visit the juggis and jhopadis.  There are scores of children there, dying either due to cold or illness. Can you pretty please give them warmth, good food and better tents to live in?

6: Will it be possible for you to make the air in and around Delhi; nay, all over India pollution free? Maybe lessons is driving a sleigh like you could help?

7: We have embarked on this ambitious “Make in India” program in India. Can you please ensure that land, power, water, infra bottlenecks are removed so that this does become a reality? Yes, this is even too much to ask of you but we thought, “let’s give it a try, maybe?”

8: Like you giving gifts out of huge sacks, giving us what we ordered, Santaji, can you please teach these logistical skills to our Indian online retailers as they seem to be struggling to deliver, even within India?

9: Please Santaji, if possible, the best gift which all Indians require right now is a change for Rs.2000 note. Can you please fill your sack and get them… preferably in 100s and 50s?

10: Santaji, do you know where Urjit Patel lives? Am sure you will find out soon – when there, please ask him to do something to save the “independent” reputation of the RBI. Today, the most respected institution of RBI stands with a sullied face; in the bargain help Patel also clear his image of being a “stooge.”

11: Santaji, we heard that interest rates on FDs, PPF and all the saving tools of the senior citizens will go down further. I hope you can bring us all a gift of some saving instrument which will help support this elderly population of India.

12: And while you are travelling around the world, can you please carry some extra-large sacks to fill it up with all the black money hoarded by Indians all over the globe? Do you get access to the Swiss bank accounts? If you bring it back that money, a lot of our economic issues could get resolved in a jiffy.

13: This is not a wish – just wanted to know – are all your toys and giveaways also ‘Made in China’?

Well, the list can go on and on but surely, you have millions of wish lists to go through and you must be super busy! Please give a thought to our wish list; maybe that’s all we will get – a thought?

Jai Ho and Merry Christmas!

India Inc

PS: Do you have an SMS or a Whatsapp where we can contact you directly next time? After all, snail mail is dying away and very soon, you too will need a better ‘app’ to stay connected.

And one more thing – in India, we do not have chimneys; so please do not waste your time trying to find one. Try climbing up the stairs as it would be better to have a fitter Santa. Yes, being fat is no longer correct and you could send the wrong message to the children. Please don’t mind!